I'm having a good hair day today. So much so, that I was surprised that any and everyone that I connected with today, didn't notice or better yet, say something.
Where does this need for being 'liked' come from? Why is it so important? (to me, to us.....)
In 1985, Sally Fields accepted her 2nd Oscar and tearfully proclaimed: you like me . . . right now . . . you like me.
When we like someone, shouldn't we let them know? Shouldn't everyone need/want a little confirmation every now and then? I know that I try to say something nice (and it must be heartfelt and sincere)to those I care about (and even to those I don't, because maybe they need it even more), yet it seems that some people are reluctant to. Why?
Are they worried that it will 'go' to the recipient's head (or hair?). So what? Everyone has their insecurities and can be bolstered by a few kind words, and those words can be impacting. It's sad that we can't always be satisfied with 'patting' ourselves on the back, though I think it's wonderful and 'ok' to be comfortable enough to 'ask' every now and then.
What makes us like each other? I think a large part is in how they make us 'feel'. There is a generousity in letting someone know that you like them. It is a huge compliment. We are different and should bask in our differences, and also appreciate and respect each others, as opposed to being threatened by them.
Don't be afraid to tell someone that you care, or like their hair, or miss them. Wouldn't that make YOU feel great?
A few years ago while at the market, I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and approach someone that I would normally be intimidated by and find something nice to say, and say it. A very sophisticated woman was walking towards me. She was extremely well dressed and oozed self confidence. I was terrified of her and all she projected and yet, approached her. I stopped in front of her, smiled, and said, "that's a lovely blue sweater you're wearing!" She stared at me and then completely softened and smiled and said, "Thank you". I felt fantastic. I then approached another woman and complimented her on her hairstyle. She almost burst into tears and proceeded to tell me that she had just cut it that morning and wasn't sure if she liked it or not, and assumed her husband wouldn't even notice.
Why not try that yourself? Everyday make a conscious decision to say something nice, to someone, and mean it. Go outside your comfort zone. Approach the unapproachable. Smile at the sullen (and compliment him/her on their shoes/scarf/whatever).
And if you run into me and you agree that I'm having a good hair day, please let me know. I promise you, it'll mean something!
6.11.09
3.11.09
Knee High in Trouser Socks
Remember pantyhose? They basically came in one color - nude (and black and 'almost or barely' black). We wore them with dresses and gowns and all things that exposed the leg. 'Dress pants' required something different - knee highs! Those stretchy (and again, nude colored) nylons that were only 'knee high' (mind you, mine seemed to stop halfway, or bag around my ankles)and came in either sandalfoot (for, duh, sandals) or regular (with that stretchy heavier band across the toes).
So what ARE trouser socks? According to www.wisegeek.com, my new favorite 'how to find out about things' site,
Trouser socks are socks made for women that generally reach to the upper calf or just below the knee depending upon one’s height. They are often constructed of light materials like nylon so they can be easily worn with more narrow shoes like pumps. They tend to replace the now less popular nylon knee-highs that were worn in the past
So there you have it. You would think that trouser socks would make life easier, but for me, the confusion continues.
I wear and own a lot of flats because:
a) I don't walk well in barefeet, let alone shoes with heels
b) my first husband told me I looked like a hooker when I wore heels and it kind of stuck with me
c) my husband is a Canadian Jewish guy, which translates into: he's not 6 feet tall
If it wasn't difficult enough picking out something to wear for work everyday that looks good (I'm still losing the war on this one), keeps me cool (I wear a lot of 'light' tops or tee shirts with pseudo cardigans and 'shrugs') and is comfortable enough to sit in all day, now I have to match my trouser socks to my shoes/pants/tops - what?
I have black flats that I wear when I wear grey and or black pants. If I am wearing all black or grey, does this mean I can 'have fun' with my trouser socks and go for the pattern, or should I be wearing 'nude' or 'almost black'? And what do I wear when I wear my two tone patent brown and gold flats? Nude? How 'bout my silver and black ballet slippers? Gold and black Tory Burch copies?
I keep buying trouser socks in every color, pattern and material, and every day I end up wearing the wrong 'shade' of nude knee high.
Me thinks I should switch to boots. I hear they are made for walkin'. So that's just what I'll do!
So what ARE trouser socks? According to www.wisegeek.com, my new favorite 'how to find out about things' site,
Trouser socks are socks made for women that generally reach to the upper calf or just below the knee depending upon one’s height. They are often constructed of light materials like nylon so they can be easily worn with more narrow shoes like pumps. They tend to replace the now less popular nylon knee-highs that were worn in the past
So there you have it. You would think that trouser socks would make life easier, but for me, the confusion continues.
I wear and own a lot of flats because:
a) I don't walk well in barefeet, let alone shoes with heels
b) my first husband told me I looked like a hooker when I wore heels and it kind of stuck with me
c) my husband is a Canadian Jewish guy, which translates into: he's not 6 feet tall
If it wasn't difficult enough picking out something to wear for work everyday that looks good (I'm still losing the war on this one), keeps me cool (I wear a lot of 'light' tops or tee shirts with pseudo cardigans and 'shrugs') and is comfortable enough to sit in all day, now I have to match my trouser socks to my shoes/pants/tops - what?
I have black flats that I wear when I wear grey and or black pants. If I am wearing all black or grey, does this mean I can 'have fun' with my trouser socks and go for the pattern, or should I be wearing 'nude' or 'almost black'? And what do I wear when I wear my two tone patent brown and gold flats? Nude? How 'bout my silver and black ballet slippers? Gold and black Tory Burch copies?
I keep buying trouser socks in every color, pattern and material, and every day I end up wearing the wrong 'shade' of nude knee high.
Me thinks I should switch to boots. I hear they are made for walkin'. So that's just what I'll do!
2.11.09
A Book by any other name
So after returning home from an adventurous 'road trip', what's one of the first things I look forward to doing? Getting away again - by getting lost in a book. It's truly the quickest, most inexpensive way to 'travel' and escape.
I live in the 'now' and have the 'future' to look forward to, so most of the time I choose to travel back. Back in history, into the courts of King Henry VIII (and I've learnt it's much easier on the neck to be a 'lady in waiting', than a wife or mistress), or perhaps a 'Little House on the Prairie' type setting (working the land and all that stuff), or 'turn of the century' Victorian London, awash with prostitutes,thieves and surgeons. Even though it's 'old', it's aways new to me. Simpler times perhaps, that survived without the internet, fast food and air conditioning.
Escaping into the page, I fancy myself dining on delicacies such as roast goose and partridge, dressed in layers of petticoats, bustles and hoods, and churning butter and stitching feather beds.
My earliest favorites were Heidi (how I wanted to climb that mountain and drink goat's milk!), the Little House on the Prairie books (how important it was to use all parts of the slaughtered pig and to make maple 'candy' in the snow, and don't even get me started about Pa!), Little Women (Marmee and her girls, and acting out Pilgrim's Progress), and of course, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith.
Francie Nolan and her brother Neely (Cornelius)manage to survive in pre WW1 Brooklyn with their parents, Katie, who scrubs floors with lye soap and favors Neely, and Johnny, the singing waiter, alcoholic father.
I have reread this story so many times, the experiences that Francie and Neely endure, feel as if they were my own. Making a pickle last all day, the star bank, 'wasting' coffee (everyone needs a luxury and something to throw away) penny candy, visiting the library and asking the 'library lady' to 'recommend a book for a girl, she is 12', first vaccinations on a dirty arm (my brother's arm is just as dirty as mine, Francie sobbed)and school! The love of learning that is instilled in Francie from her parents, and the anguish she feels when her mother chooses Neely to continue his education and pulls Francie out. Neely begs to leave school and work, and Francie wants to stay in school, so Katie states: "That's why he has to stay and you have to leave, because you will do everything in your power to find your way back".
Francie said and felt it best. Once she learned how to read, she knew:
From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood."
I'm glad that today I have more friends than I did when I first became a reader, and also glad that I have more books always waiting (patiently) for me to escape into.
Happy reading!
I live in the 'now' and have the 'future' to look forward to, so most of the time I choose to travel back. Back in history, into the courts of King Henry VIII (and I've learnt it's much easier on the neck to be a 'lady in waiting', than a wife or mistress), or perhaps a 'Little House on the Prairie' type setting (working the land and all that stuff), or 'turn of the century' Victorian London, awash with prostitutes,thieves and surgeons. Even though it's 'old', it's aways new to me. Simpler times perhaps, that survived without the internet, fast food and air conditioning.
Escaping into the page, I fancy myself dining on delicacies such as roast goose and partridge, dressed in layers of petticoats, bustles and hoods, and churning butter and stitching feather beds.
My earliest favorites were Heidi (how I wanted to climb that mountain and drink goat's milk!), the Little House on the Prairie books (how important it was to use all parts of the slaughtered pig and to make maple 'candy' in the snow, and don't even get me started about Pa!), Little Women (Marmee and her girls, and acting out Pilgrim's Progress), and of course, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith.
Francie Nolan and her brother Neely (Cornelius)manage to survive in pre WW1 Brooklyn with their parents, Katie, who scrubs floors with lye soap and favors Neely, and Johnny, the singing waiter, alcoholic father.
I have reread this story so many times, the experiences that Francie and Neely endure, feel as if they were my own. Making a pickle last all day, the star bank, 'wasting' coffee (everyone needs a luxury and something to throw away) penny candy, visiting the library and asking the 'library lady' to 'recommend a book for a girl, she is 12', first vaccinations on a dirty arm (my brother's arm is just as dirty as mine, Francie sobbed)and school! The love of learning that is instilled in Francie from her parents, and the anguish she feels when her mother chooses Neely to continue his education and pulls Francie out. Neely begs to leave school and work, and Francie wants to stay in school, so Katie states: "That's why he has to stay and you have to leave, because you will do everything in your power to find your way back".
Francie said and felt it best. Once she learned how to read, she knew:
From that time on, the world was hers for the reading. She would never be lonely again, never miss the lack intimate friends. Books became her friends and there was one for every mood."
I'm glad that today I have more friends than I did when I first became a reader, and also glad that I have more books always waiting (patiently) for me to escape into.
Happy reading!
1.11.09
Thelma and Louise, with a happier ending
I'm not a spontaneous person. I like to make lists (duh), plans, and know in advance where I'm going, when I'll arrive and what I'll do once I'm 'there'. That's why I love my girlfriends. Doesn't (or shouldn't) everyone have one of 'those' friends that can 'make' you do just about anything, or push your limits just a little bit.
My friend 'Thelma' (names changed to protect the innocent, plus she's taller -especially in her YSL shoes and I (henceforth known as Louise) challenged me to a 'road trip'. I had finally gotten my passport, didn't work Fridays, and had no excuses. So what would we do? Initially we would drive, meaning SHE would drive, and I would simply follow the written instructions (I am directionally challenged as the nice guy at the gas station will attest to)to a place called MacKenzie Childs located in Aurora, New York (approx. a 4 hour 'jaunt'), take the tour, watch the 'how's it made' video, and then take it from there. I let myself be putty in her hands and didn't balk.
Thankfully, unlike the movie Thelma and Louise, which I have never seen, by the way, we did not drive off a cliff. We did meet up with Brad Pitt (just testing to see if you're paying attention).
It rained, it poured, I didn't snore (in fact, I didn't sleep that night - though that was my fault - the train outside the room didn't help, nor did the unclosed drapes which I couldn't figure out how to close, unfamiliar yet comfortable bed, etc. etc.).
We went shopping, visited many a bookstore (did you KNOW that Barnes and Noble has a huge selection of USED books for sale at 50% off?), had our hair 'done', wined and dined ourselves, and laughed and shared and listened to some good music and learnt a lot about each other (all good!).
Can't wait for the next time, as long as she arranges it!
My friend 'Thelma' (names changed to protect the innocent, plus she's taller -especially in her YSL shoes and I (henceforth known as Louise) challenged me to a 'road trip'. I had finally gotten my passport, didn't work Fridays, and had no excuses. So what would we do? Initially we would drive, meaning SHE would drive, and I would simply follow the written instructions (I am directionally challenged as the nice guy at the gas station will attest to)to a place called MacKenzie Childs located in Aurora, New York (approx. a 4 hour 'jaunt'), take the tour, watch the 'how's it made' video, and then take it from there. I let myself be putty in her hands and didn't balk.
Thankfully, unlike the movie Thelma and Louise, which I have never seen, by the way, we did not drive off a cliff. We did meet up with Brad Pitt (just testing to see if you're paying attention).
It rained, it poured, I didn't snore (in fact, I didn't sleep that night - though that was my fault - the train outside the room didn't help, nor did the unclosed drapes which I couldn't figure out how to close, unfamiliar yet comfortable bed, etc. etc.).
We went shopping, visited many a bookstore (did you KNOW that Barnes and Noble has a huge selection of USED books for sale at 50% off?), had our hair 'done', wined and dined ourselves, and laughed and shared and listened to some good music and learnt a lot about each other (all good!).
Can't wait for the next time, as long as she arranges it!
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