I'm having a good hair day today. So much so, that I was surprised that any and everyone that I connected with today, didn't notice or better yet, say something.
Where does this need for being 'liked' come from? Why is it so important? (to me, to us.....)
In 1985, Sally Fields accepted her 2nd Oscar and tearfully proclaimed: you like me . . . right now . . . you like me.
When we like someone, shouldn't we let them know? Shouldn't everyone need/want a little confirmation every now and then? I know that I try to say something nice (and it must be heartfelt and sincere)to those I care about (and even to those I don't, because maybe they need it even more), yet it seems that some people are reluctant to. Why?
Are they worried that it will 'go' to the recipient's head (or hair?). So what? Everyone has their insecurities and can be bolstered by a few kind words, and those words can be impacting. It's sad that we can't always be satisfied with 'patting' ourselves on the back, though I think it's wonderful and 'ok' to be comfortable enough to 'ask' every now and then.
What makes us like each other? I think a large part is in how they make us 'feel'. There is a generousity in letting someone know that you like them. It is a huge compliment. We are different and should bask in our differences, and also appreciate and respect each others, as opposed to being threatened by them.
Don't be afraid to tell someone that you care, or like their hair, or miss them. Wouldn't that make YOU feel great?
A few years ago while at the market, I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and approach someone that I would normally be intimidated by and find something nice to say, and say it. A very sophisticated woman was walking towards me. She was extremely well dressed and oozed self confidence. I was terrified of her and all she projected and yet, approached her. I stopped in front of her, smiled, and said, "that's a lovely blue sweater you're wearing!" She stared at me and then completely softened and smiled and said, "Thank you". I felt fantastic. I then approached another woman and complimented her on her hairstyle. She almost burst into tears and proceeded to tell me that she had just cut it that morning and wasn't sure if she liked it or not, and assumed her husband wouldn't even notice.
Why not try that yourself? Everyday make a conscious decision to say something nice, to someone, and mean it. Go outside your comfort zone. Approach the unapproachable. Smile at the sullen (and compliment him/her on their shoes/scarf/whatever).
And if you run into me and you agree that I'm having a good hair day, please let me know. I promise you, it'll mean something!
About Me
- SOX
- I prefer to let my fingers do the walking and talking the majority of the time and love to communicate and interact via the written word, as I find it cathartic and a wonderful means of expressing myself. Everything about me is more than it seems, so I will elaborate as much as I can. Married to my best friend and the guy that knows and 'gets' me best, mother to 4 unique and diverse individuals (I'm a stepmom extraordinare (depending on who you ask), colon cancer survivor, voracious reader and book collector of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, library patron, Arbonne independent consultant, facebook addict, lover of good food (both preparing and devouring)book group junkie and leader, Bruce Springsteen groupie and music lover.
Coltrane, the wonder dog
Dave and Karen mid '70s
3 comments:
Firstly Kare,
anytime I see you it seems like you are having a "Good Hair Day" seriously you always look gorgeous not only to me because I think you are so special (from the inside) but you appear that way (from the outside) as well always. That may be the reason you didn't get compliments that day on your hair.
As far as compliments go. I always am that , what appears to be strange person( by Toronto standards) who will give that stranger a compliment and sometimes to someone whom doesn't look so deserving of it. But the one thing I am always is sincere in what I dish out. I will only give that compliment if I feel and see that it is true. I have had very similiar experiences to what you have described in the sense of the stranger who seems unapproachable who suddenly has a face that lights up like an angel after being given a compliment that was probably so much in fact desperately needed. Maybe we possess that same kid of radar that not all others are aware of in themsleves or should I say we all possess it but some are unaware or unaware and uncapable of knowing how to us it. I could go on and on. Love that you put so much thought into this. This is so much a part of my everyday life that I usually don't go out of my way telling anybody else about since I just don't stop to think about it once the moment has passed.
Wow Kare, Wow!
xo
you're beyond sweet, fernie - and oh so genuine.
i'm writing what i feel, when i feel it, and if it resonates with you, that's just awesome.
xo
kare
While I don't "see" you like Fern does, I want to point out that in every single picture I have ever seen of you your hair looks great! I think part of it is that we are our own worst critics. I can't imagine your hair ever looking "bad", and on the flip side, you notice the days when your hair looks EXTRA great, and thus in your mind the days that your hair only looks "great" must be bad hair days.
As to the rest of your post -- you and I are not only on the same page, we are using the same words in the same font!! I tell people things like that all the time too, but rarely hear them back. Sometimes I even do it when I am on a run and I pass someone walking the other way, and then it ends up extra loud because I have my headphones on. grin.
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